What do Barack Obama’s first presidential campaign, Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop”, and my hairline all have in common? They were all very successful in the year 2008. You are probably more familiar with the first two mentioned, but please trust that my hairline too was thriving. Two thousand eight. I was a senior at Baltimore School for the Arts, and my future was brighter than the sun. Unfortunately, my sun somewhat set on a brisk night in October. Let’s get into it.
Over the summer, my aunt bought me a ticket to see Janet Jackson. My first ever BIG concert. It’s going to be Wednesday October 15th at the Verizon Center. My life will be forever changed. Since I am a senior in the Baltimore School for the Arts Dance Department this is my last chance to perform in The Nutcracker. I’m up for the coveted role of the Nutcracker Prince and the final rehearsal with our choreographer just happens to be Wednesday October 15th. Well, this is a dilemma.
I’ll spare you the teenage angst and just let you know I saw Janet Jackson. Looking back, I didn’t need to add insult to injury by not showing up to school at all. The rehearsal was that night and technically I could have gone to the academic portion of my day. However, I was seeing JANET JACKSON. I needed to prepare physically, spiritually, and emotionally for this moment. I forced my mom into calling school to say that I was sick with a 24-hour bug. I spent said day primping and preparing for Janet, (Miss Jackson if ya nasty), to take the stage at nine pm. Looking back I could have gone to rehearsal too but who wants to hear that story?
Since I didn’t show up, I was placed in the chorus and had a small part in the first act. I didn’t care. I saw Janet Jackson. The next day our department head was furious with me to say the least. The choreographer flew in for this final day to solidify roles, and in hindsight I know she saw the lie all over me. I didn’t care. I saw Janet Jackson.
I saw Janet Jackson.
I’ve been thinking about that night a lot lately. At 17 years old I made the decision to do something I truly wanted to do. I chose to make a memory instead of having momentary glory. At 32 years old, I can vaguely recall the choreography of The Nutcracker. I remember every single breath Janet Jackson took. I was studying to be a professional performer – Wouldn’t seeing one of the greatest performers make sense? (Janet Jackson is one of the greatest performers to ever grace this godforsaken Earth that’s not up for debate.) It would have been nice to end my high school experience as the title role. Each time I stepped on the stage that winter, I didn’t regret my choice. Our school was slightly insane meaning we had three different versions of our Nutcracker that ran for a little over a month. I had plenty of time to mull over my choice dancing in the corps de ballet.
I still don’t regret that one night that changed all my nights after. It taught me such a valuable lesson about what kind of life I wanted to lead. The life where I was the Prince, I missed Janet Jackson, but caught some clips on Youtube. Not a bad life, I would have been happy, and to be honest probably wouldn’t have regretted not seeing Janet. I’m sure I would have given myself some insane emotional speech about suffering for my art to justify my choice. We all know the life I chose though. I chose the life where I saw the performer I’d been dreaming of seeing. The life where yes, I wasn’t the star of the show, but I still was IN the show. The life where I put myself first and nobody died. That’s the craziest thing right? Nothing truly BAD came of not being the title role in my school show. However, something truly magical did.
I’ve made many choices since then for myself. This one beautiful life we’ve all been given just can’t be lived for others. There are times to see Janet and there are times to be a prince. Sometimes one little decision can lead to an adventure you never even knew you needed. That’s the life I knew I wanted to lead at 17 years old, and I’m happy all these years later it still is. Also, I hear Janet Jackson is touring again this year. Good thing I’m Nutcracker free